From The Concession Stand: The Panther Pretzel

The BB&T Center has an amazing selection of delectable items to eat. None more so than the Panther Salted Pretzel. This baby has it all, and by baby I mean the pretzel. It has pretzel stuff, which is flour and water and probably more flour and, yep you guessed it, salt. This pretzel has so much salt, the Morton’s salt girl is jealous. It has so much salt, you can use the leftover salt in your water softener. You are probably asking yourself, “Joe, can you get a pretzel without salt?” Well, yes, you can order one without salt, but guess what… it still has salt on it. If you are brave enough to order the pretzel with salt, I suggest scraping some of it off before eating it as you will save a tremendous amount of money on beverages.

Another thing this pretzel has going for it is its size. Holy cow this thing is big. The pretzel doesn’t even fit into the wax paper envelope it comes in. When you think about money spent versus return in stuff that you can actually eat, nothing beats the Panther Pretzel. (Ok, just thought about it… Panther Popcorn probably has the pretzel beat, but that doesn’t help my argument so I am not including it.) One last thing you can do with this pretzel is put mustard on it. Make sure you get in front of a guy with a hot dog and laugh as you use every drop of mustard on your golden delicious Panther Pretzel.

My only criticism of the PP is its lack of a cheese sauce dipping option. Doctors agree that dipping things in cheese is an excellent alternative to vegetables… ok, I’m being told none of what I said about the cheese dipping sauce is true. Regardless, more sauces for dipping are needed to make this pretzel truly wonderful. So, grab a friend (or two), order one of these bad boys with an ice cold beer, and sit back and watch some amazing Florida Panthers hockey. (I apologize for my excessive use of parentheses( ) in this article.)

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